All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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