remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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