The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I want a musical about memes.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
