I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize