tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
