Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm really into asian looking animals
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
