My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
