Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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