Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Is Oprah even human
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
