I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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