Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
