Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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