I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
