he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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