Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
