I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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