using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
