Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize