His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
