Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Even my vagina gasped.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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