if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
