I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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