Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
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I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
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Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
she was concerned about my dick piercings.