dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
