i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him