I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize