And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize