Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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