ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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