Do you still have your period?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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