Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
