$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
time to smoke my breakfast
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
