I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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