i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
