i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
the liver wants what the liver wants
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
