i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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