If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
