"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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