You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
