I met the friendliest cop last night
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize