his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
