Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
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