yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
