Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
