I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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