Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
