Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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