Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
