i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
