I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
