And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
