Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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