she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
