In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
