I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
