I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
