He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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