We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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