I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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