Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
