In the future we'll all be gay
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
