Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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