Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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