This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
